%20(45).png)
Everyone has a dream and in these dreams we always want to achieve bigger and better things. Whether it’s a bigger house, a nice car, better promotions, or to get married we never stop to improve and grow. And as for some of us, the same mantra also applies to our sex lives. Sex is an important part of our lives and plays an integral role in our overall well-being.
Reasons people have sex:
It makes us happy and healthier people
Having sex can help us improve and practice our skills
It shows our love and commitment
Sex can often be goal oriented (helps social status)
It can make us feel desirable
Sex makes some people feel less insecure (helps boost self-esteem)
It’s very pleasurable (most of us can all agree on)
Revenge (unhealthy)
Sex can be a way to express oneself
The list can go on
BDE Style knows the importance of sex for both men and women and has a created guide on 7 ways you can improve your sex life in 2020.
1) Healthy sex equals a healthier mind and body
Your sexual health matters big time and the more you have it, the healthier you will feel mentally and physically. Sex helps release endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and a few other feel-good chemicals in the brain. Studies have shown that it can have a positive effect on your mood, may help improve sleep, and reduce pain.
SEX is a word that opens a window towards multiple feelings. From excitement, love, sensuality, sensitivity, desire, shyness, and disappointments – the reactions vary, and so do the experiences. What's important to understand is that we all go through these emotions, and many others in our sexual lives.
Now, if you’re not getting enough sex, or are curious as to how you can improve the quality of sex, there are plenty of things you can do. But, first you must understand why you have sex in the first place. The two most prominent reasons are: first because it makes you satisfied, and second, it makes your partner satisfied. So keeping this in mind, we have move past primitive ideologies of sex so that you can be open to learning a thing or two on how to improve your sex life in 2020.
2) Being enthusiastic is important!
This is the most important and simplest piece of advice we can suggest on how to improve your sex life. Couples who are in a relationship tend to lose satisfaction and frequency in sex overtime. By being enthusiastic you will help reenact your “dating” phase when you once were enthusiastic. Try recreating these moments and continue encouraging your partner to do the same. Nothing is worse than boring sex or losing touch with your sensual and sexual side.
Here is a tip for you: Don’t just don't lay in the bed, and let your partner do all the work. Work together and try something new!
In addition to this, don't let your mind wander either. Oftentimes when having sex and thinking about your to-do list for tomorrow, can ruin the moment when trying to be in sync with your partner. What you should do is be attentive to what's happening and respond equally to keep the fire burning.
But, what if my partner or friend with benefits is not enthusiastic? Well If you are enthusiastic, this may turn on your partner. Being enthusiastic will also rub off to your partner and they will end up being more enthusiastic too. And if you aren't, your partner will know. Your partner will think of you as boring and will find a much more enthusiastic partner, or he or she will constantly have this feeling of not being good enough for you and will find someone more appreciative.
Can I just fake it instead?
Pretending to be thrilled can be insulting, fake, and will do less to improve your sex life. This can include fake moans, or manipulative statements, which can be destructive in the long run. For instance, you don’t want to fake moan so your man thinks he’s doing a “good” job. He’ll never learn this way and if he finds out you faked an orgasm, it may destroy the trust between you too. This also applies to guys too. You might be the more sexually experienced partner and will be able to get her off multiple times. However, if she tries to get you off and she can’t, she will also feel inadequate if you “fake it”.
Ultimately, your goal is not to appear like you are forcing yourself to be enthusiastic, but to actually feel the excitement and encourage your partner too.
For instances, find something that makes you horny and focus on it.
If you like what she’s wearing that day, then say it
If her hair style turns you on, then say it.
If he smells nice or you like the way he picks you before sex, then say it.
The more you are turned on, the easier it will be for you to enjoy sex. The same goes for your partner too.
3) Sex is a learning experience
Sex is not all about sticking a penis into a vagina, which is why it is important to learn more about the topic. Here are a few options for you to learn more about it:
The internet
Masturbation
Professional help
Going out there and having sex
There are tons of amazing blogs and websites that can teach you about sex. A simple search query on Google, and you will have numerous options in front of you to learn more. There is also porn, but don’t be confused with what you see. Porn can often dilute our minds of what we think “real sex” looks like. Try looking up the amateur porn category and you will find more realistic videos of what to expect. There are even video instructions on foreplay and how to make a girl squirt.
Tip 1: Too much porn can be a bad thing. For some, it may cause ED. You don’t want to desensitize yourself and then when you’re with a girl, you can’t get hard.
Tip 2: Every girl is different. We don’t recommend trying some crazy finger blaster move you found online on the next girl you meet without giving her a heads up. Understand the concept and work up to it. Make the girl feel comfortable first and then see how she reacts to something new. It also doesn’t hurt to ask, which is one of the reasons we have sex in the first place. To learn and improve our skills!
Masturbation is also another way to learn about sex and your body. As you explore and learn about your preferences through your own hands, you can teach them to your partner. This is important because if you understand your body and how you orgasm, passing this knowledge to your partner will help make the experience and pleasure so much better.
If you’re a guy or girl living in 2020 and you don’t do this, then you’re wasting everyone's time. The same concept applies to moaning and being vocal. If you’re a guy and you’re afraid to moan during sex then you’re making your partner feel like crap about their performance. I’m not saying to fake it either, but positive reinforcement and enjoying something should include some vocalization and guiding them to giving you a really good orgasm.
Get Professional help if you need further mediation or if communication is tough between you and your partner. A sex therapist can help you overcome any sexual issues. You don't have to worry about being judged; these guys have heard the worst. Issues with arousals, lubrication, infections, or anything that spoils your sexual experience is something you can discuss openly with them.
4) Mind fuck them
Yes, we’re being serious. Mind fuck the shit out of them!
For good sex, it's really important to flirt and tease your partner not only in the bedroom, but outside too. And yes, you still need to do it even if it's been years you've been together.
Remember how things used to stay heated when you two just started the relationship. There was fire and sexual tension, which ultimately led to crazy sex. You can still mind fuck them or learn how to do it so they miss you and crave your touch.
Touch her in flirtatious ways, not sexual
Lean into her when you speak
Caress her neck or arm.
Smack her ass and give her a compliment and then WALK away
"eye fuck" her too. Do the old fashion elevator eyes while licking your lips and locking eyes with her.
You can do all these things (and more) while you watch a movie, or maybe prep a meal, or while you're about to get dressed for work. Do this from the start of the day and until the end. Whether you have sex at night or morning or mid day, there needs to be a build up.
Doing all these things may seem torturous, but building the sexual tension makes it easier when you both have sex. The mood is already set and you both are more likely to be in sync with one another.
Here are some other things you both can try:
For her
When teasing your partner, give her a glimpse of what's underneath your clothes. hold her from the back, pull her closer to you. By the time you will reach that first kiss, it will be like lightning has struck.
For him
Give him a glimpse of what's underneath your clothes by pulling up your skirt or pulling down your strap. Wiggle your hips a bit as you walk in front of him.
5) Be open about what you want from sex and be ready for feedback
Many couples face issues with their sex life only because they lack communication, which leads to sex droughts in physical intimacy. Talking to your partner, about intimate conversations can be scary, but doing so will help ease the pressure when it comes to expectation and how to improve your sex life.
Don't get discouraged by what your partner says; always remember you’re supposed to learn more about your partner and their physical desires. It doesn’t stop after the first 6 months! Feedback about sexual performance or desires does not mean there is something wrong in your relationship. It just means that there is room for improvement and in the end you both will grow. It all starts with an open conversation about what kind of sex excites you and ways you can improve your intimacy levels.
6) Try something new
To piggyback on the section above, you need to be willing to try something new while keeping things exciting. You don’t want to fall into a phase where sex is the same and it becomes boring. Try something new! This could be anything like:
I want to try another position, rather than the same position we always try.
I want you to touch me more and kiss me more outside the bedroom before we take this inside.
I want to tell you that I would like to talk dirty before we get the intercourse started.
I want you to tie me up ;)
Telling your partner about your sexual needs and desires can lead to a more fulfilling sexual experience. Keep in mind, couples who have a great sex life is only because they tell each other what they want and are open to trying something new.
Awesome sex ends up happening when you ask for what you want because it's a more fulfilling experience. So, if you want her to finger your prostate, dress up in sexy outfits or try a different position, tell her! If you want him to kiss you more, fuck harder (or slower), or play with your clit more, then tell him! It’s a two way street and by telling them or even initiating can make the sex more explosive.
7) Be supportive if there are any sexual hiccups
If you suffer from ED and you are embarrassed about it, your partner may not know what to do when it becomes an awkward moment. Sex is supposed to be fun, but at the same time a vulnerable experience. It's during these times that you need to accept each others bodies and how they work so that it can lead to a more intimate and fulfilling sex life. Sexual issues in the bedroom can range from not getting it up to premature ejaculations, etc. that affect many relationships. But in order to improve the situation you first have to accept the problem and then work together to find a solution.
The same notion also applies when a woman has body insecurities, difficulty achieving an orgasm, or is prone to UTI’s because of sex. We all need to be understanding of one another and work together by communicating ways to make these situations better.
For instance, ED can be physical or mental. If it’s mental you can talk with your partner about insecurities preventing him from achieving an erection. You can then let them know that you are supportive and are willing to try new things and continue education about ED and it’s causes.
Treatment options for men dealing with sexual performance issues are always improving and devices like The Phoenix that uses acoustic wave therapy are non-invasive and safe for men to try something new that continues to work for many men throughout the country. For a low cost of $879 dollars (or you can do a payment plan!) you can reverse the sexual decline at home and take the next step to improving your sex life.
