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Is It You or Erectile Dysfunction: How to Talk to Your Partner

Updated: May 30, 2023

Is It You or Erectile Dysfunction: How to Talk to Your Partner

You know that feeling you get when the lights are off and your partner is waiting for you to make a move? You have no idea if your ED is going to be a problem this time or if you will be able to rise to the occasion...The stress only makes things worse.

Well, we're here to tell you that it's not always your fault - sometimes erectile dysfunction can seem like an unmanageable nightmare, but it doesn’t have to control your life. This article will discuss how you can talk to your partner about your ED and take steps together to get it under control...Without killing the vibe!

What Is Erectile Dysfunction and How Does It Affect You?

Erectile dysfunction is a common condition that affects about 50% of men. It can lead to physical and emotional problems, including depression, anxiety, and relationship issues.

It is a common misconception that ED is an older man's problem; in fact, according to studies done by The Cleveland Clinic, 40% of men have already experienced erectile issues at some point by the time they reach 40.

woman with man dealing with erectile dysfunction

For some, the problem can become chronic. When it does, they are diagnosed with ED.

Many men and women view ED as a sexual issue. Still, the truth is that the most common causes are undiagnosed physical conditions like diabetes, high cholesterol, or even the early stages of heart disease. Even more often, the result of certain medicines used for treating these conditions can cause ED.

Unfortunately, due to a lack of information, when the problem occurs, partners tend to blame themselves, thinking that it is because they did wrong or are no longer attractive to their partner.

In many cases, the partner feels unattractive or inadequate and assumes that is the reason for the erectile dysfunction, which of course, is not the case.

Often the partner with ED will feel guilty or upset at the other person for not understanding his condition and pull away. Unfortunately, this pulling back confirms insecurities, and the result is that the couple stops communicating, which makes their problem worse.

man talking to his doctor about issues getting it up

While pulling back is not the right thing to do, trying too hard is also not the answer. Unfortunately, some partners will take the opposite approach and try to drown their partners in eroticism. They believe that the problems will disappear if they try harder, act sexier, or engage their partner more.

This approach can cause extra pressure on the relationship and make the man feel like a disappointment if he cannot perform. That is why open communication between partners regarding ED is essential to a healthy relationship.

How to Talk to Your Partner About ED

If you suffer from ED, it is essential to get past the awkward feelings and talk it over with your partner. ED is a problem that has many solutions, and they start with the two of you.

When you are in a relationship, ED is not just happening to one person; it is happening to the couple. If both partners work together, they can prevent ED from pulling them apart. When you and your partner talk about ED, there are some things that you need to keep in mind, such as:

  • Don't Blame Yourself: Both you and your partner need to know that this is not your fault. It has not happened because either of you did or did not do something. There is no one to be blamed.

  • ED Is A Medical Issue: ED does not happen because someone is not turned on enough. Partners must know that ED cannot be cured by working harder in the bedroom.

  • ED Is A Common Problem: ED is a widespread problem that almost half of the men experience. The condition gets more common as you get older.

  • ED Is Treatable: ED is not the end of the world. However, with the proper guidance and support, ED can be managed successfully.

Understanding these talking points can help partners reach a new level in their relationship. Keeping these essential points in mind can help alleviate some significant stress in and out of the bedroom!

man sitting by lake thinking about his sexual health

Ways ED Can Be Treated or Managed

The treatment of ED starts by taking care of your heart and vascular health. Then, your doctor can help you identify the risk factors and how to change or improve them. You may also be asked to change certain eating habits, stop using alcohol or drugs, stop smoking, or increase workouts.

Your healthcare provider may also suggest treating any emotional problems. These could occur due to conflicts in relationships, stress factors in life, depression, or anxiety due to past issues with ED (performance anxiety).

Understanding ED Treatments

Often the non-invasive treatments are tried out first. Most of the well-known ED treatments work well and are safe. Still, it is suggested to ask your healthcare provider about the side effects of each option, including the following:

  • Oral Drugs or Pills Called Phosphodiesterase Type 5

  • Testosterone Therapy

  • Penile Injections

  • Intraurethral Medication

  • Vacuum Erection Devices

  • Penile Implants

These are a few of the most common treatment options for men with erectile dysfunction. But, remember, there is no one size fits all treatment for every man.

women's underwear on a bed

After Treatment

All the treatments for ED except for the implant surgery are used as needed for sex, and then they wear off. The treatments help the symptoms, but they do not fix the underlying problem in the penis.

If the medical treatments do not work as well as expected, then changing the dosage prescribed by the doctor may help. Reviewing the instructions might reveal a step is missing in the treatment plan.

An alternative path may be necessary: emotional counseling, a vacuum erection device, or penile implants are excellent alternatives when the other methods are not working.

The Importance of Maintaining an Open Dialogue with Your Partner About ED

couple talking about erectile dysfunction

Talking to each other is the best way to handle ED in your relationship. Focus on how to approach it together. Talking to your partner about ED will make you realize that you are not alone. Your partner may be hesitating to approach the subject with you or don't know if you want to talk about it or not.

Discussing your situation with your partner will not only clear out any misunderstandings but also help you bond together and feel more close and secure.

ED can happen to anyone and can happen at any point in life; you and your partner must be on the same page when it happens to avoid any physiological and emotional stress.

Improving Intimacy with ED

There are many ways that you and your partner can improve intimacy while dealing with erectile dysfunction. Let’s take a look at a few different ways you can manage ED as a couple!

Engage in Foreplay

The importance of foreplay is often undermined by men. But it is highly recommended to try and master this art. This not only helps in satisfying her physically but also helps you both to bond better. During the foreplay, both partners get a better understanding of each other's bodies. If you are taking medication for ED, foreplay can help you to get a better erection.

Mutual Masturbation

Mutual masturbation is one of the many ways to orgasm. This can be a little different from foreplay. In this, both partners simultaneously explore the erogenous zones of each other. This is highly satisfying and gives a better orgasm than foreplay.

Sensuality Without Intercourse

It is fine if you are unable to have penetrative sex. A kiss is more potent than actual intercourse. If ED is bothering you to be with your partner, wrap together in a blanket, and kiss, you will be amazed at how satisfying it is. Experience the beautiful moments of hugging and smiling at each other on a cozy night under the blankets.

couple improving Intimacy with ED

How to Plan For Intimate Moments When Living With a Condition That Causes Erectile Dysfunction

In many cases, ED can be treated with the usage of prescription medicines. However, the medication works best when taken in the right conditions. From your mental state to your diet, several factors can influence your effectiveness.

Usually, the medicine takes up to an hour to become fully active in the body. The amount of time it takes to activate depends on factors like your diet or personal metabolism. If you take your ED medication too soon before sex, it might not become active on time.

So the best way is to be prepared. If you are planning to have sex, make sure you take medicine ahead of time. This ensures that the medicine will be effective on time, but it also helps boost confidence. With that being said, sometimes the moment strikes and you need to be able to rise to the occasion and be ready to go without meds...

Let’s take a look at what you can do and how you can get your partner on board!

The Phoenix Acoustic Wave Therapy

The Phoenix Acoustic Wave Therapy

The Phoenix is an acoustic wave therapy device that is scientifically proven to help men improve their overall sexual performance. Unlike costly in-clinic acoustic wave therapy treatments, The Phoenix can be used in the comfort of your home at your discretion at a fraction of the cost.

The device works by helping men reduce sexual decline, improving sexual performance, and making it easier to "get it up".

What is great about the device is that there are no injections, no pills, and it is easy to use so you can include your partner in the process!

Managing ED and Sexual Performance Like a Boss

Listen, most men have to deal with ED...It’s just a part of life...but how you deal with it can make all the difference in you and your partner’s experience. At BDE Style, we aim to be advocates for men like you!

Our goal is to take the stigma out of ED and help real men manage their real problems with ED safely and effectively...Like a boss! So, if you are ready to take control of your erectile dysfunction then head over to the rest of our site today and learn more about who we are and how we can help you.


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