What Happens When A Man Stops Having Sex?
Updated: Apr 13
What happens when a man stops having sex? A lot of things actually. Although studies suggest there are no side effects of not having sex, we believe otherwise.
Now, sex is pretty awesome if you ask us. We all have urges and when we finally release, we feel great and relaxed right after! Researchers have spent a long time exploring the health benefits related to physical intimacy. But, did you know that a lack of sex or not having sex at all can be bad for your health in other ways?
For instance, sex plays a huge role in men’s sexual health and mental well-being. Having regular sex means getting and obtaining an erection to perform. But if you’re not having sex regularly or at all, what do you think happens? In this case, no reason to get an erection and no sexy time.
So, is getting an erection important? Yes! Having regular erections means that your penis is functioning like it's supposed to and that it’s staying healthy. But without regular sex, it may hurt your libido and will probably make it harder for you to perform when you do have sex.
Here is what you should know if you are facing a prolonged “dry” spell of no sex, and what your mind and body(penis) might experience if you stop having sex.
How often should a guy be having sex anyway?
Trends in society make us believe that we need to be having lots of sex and that if we’re not having it, then we’re not living up to society’s expectations. But, when it comes to reaping the benefits of sex, frequency doesn’t matter. It’s just not a factor.
You can’t really predict when or how much sex you will have in a year. But, from what studies suggest is the average adult has sex at least 54 times in a year. This is about once a week or more. Although this 2017 study factored in over 26,000 participants and their sexual behaviors, there are still some couples or singles out there that have sex more or less than that amount.
So, is having sex once a week truly enough for a man? Well, It depends on a lot of factors and it can vary from man to man. But if you’re having it more than that amount, then that’s great! BDE Style hopes and wishes everyone to have lots and lots of sex. But, in case you’re not having it 7 days a week, then that’s okay too!
The thing you should worry about is if you’re not having sex at all or if your body is experiencing a lack of stimulation. Keep reading.
It’s actually about the amount of erections you get per day
What a guy should really be concerned about his erectile function and how many times he’s getting an erection per day. This and how many times he’s ejaculating per month.
Studies suggest that the average man can have around 10 to 20 erections per day. Although some other sources claim 11 is the magic number, it can also vary from man to man. It is also important to acknowledge that out of these 10-20 erections, some of these are nocturnal erections. On average a guy can have 3-5 of them a night and they last a lot longer than they do when you’re awake. (This is because your body is more relaxed and your heart rate slows down while you sleep).
So, what’s the takeaway? If a man is not getting enough erections, this may indicate some medical issues like nerve malfunctioning, arterial disease, diabetes, hypertension, and other health-related issues. Some experts also suggest that low testosterone could also be the culprit behind a man not being able to pop an erection at night, in the morning, or throughout the day.
But, just this alone can onset other potential problems unrelated to not having regular erections, erectile dysfunction, or lack of sex.
A man should ejaculate at least 21 times a month to prevent prostate cancer and other serious issues. Although you can achieve this through masturbation, sex is just better. Now it sucks because we mentioned earlier that the average adult has sex about once a week. I bet you’re probably wondering how to increase this number or what happens if you’re not getting enough. But, don’t stress out!
Not Having Sex Might Lead To More Stress
You have to look at this in two different perspectives..
When a man stops having sex, it could either be because he is stressed out or he is becoming stressed because he is not having sex. Stress itself has its downsides for men.
As a sex session normally helps reduce stress, the stress of not having sex can build sexual frustration in relationships. This is where it can become problematic for the dynamics in a relationship.
For instance, sometimes couples may go through a sexual drought and intimacy becomes stale when both partners become “comfortable” or “platonic” with one another. If you start getting too “comfortable” and the sex part of the relationship declines, one of the first indicators of this type of stress is a decline in mood, or feeling more agitated than usual.
Now if a man is stressed and this is causing a lack of sex in a relationship, then it may be because of his testosterone levels. Most men typically see a decline in testosterone after the age of 30 and this decline usually affects sex drive and libido too! (The same way we mentioned how testosterone can affect erections, the drive is also important!)
But, just so you know, this doesn’t mean the sex part of the relationship is gone, it just means you have to stop and realize why it stopped in the first place. Communication is very important and recreating eroticism in a relationship that has gone stale is going to be a lot of work. But, it’s doable! You both just need to be on the same page so you can move forward to finding a solution to any health related issues or roadblocks in your relationship.
And, if testosterone is an issue, then you should visit a doctor for a proper diagnosis and seek treatment. Most likely, you may find out that there might be other factors than testosterone that can throw off your sex drive and erections.
Not having sex may also lead to a higher risk of heart disease
Research suggests that having sex at least twice a week(or more) reduces a man's chances of getting cardio vascular disease compared to those who have sex less than once a month.
Less sex in men can cause a harmful chemical that can trigger cardiac issues. It is assumed men indulging in regular sex, often have better blood flow and healthier blood vessels.
As we mentioned that erection health is important and having as many erections as possible is important for function and sex, we want to you to be aware that not having that sexual stimuli, and a lack of erections might lead to erectile dysfcuntion.
Less sex may lead to Erectile Dysfunction
It’s important to highlight that as sexual desire and the ability to achieve and maintain erections decrease with age, it may also lead to erectile dysfunction.
Think about it this way, the penis acts like a muscle, so it needs to be used on a regular basis to maintain its health and strength. For instance, we mentioned that nocturnal erections or “nighttime erections'' are to preserve the penile tissue and to make sure that it stays elastic. It’s the same concept when not having sex. If you’re not having sex or regular (healthy) erections, then it may lead to less erections in the long run.
So ideally, you should try to have more erections in a day and/or have sex more often.
Easy right? Wrong. There’s a lot of built up pressure and expectation for guys to perform, especially during their prime. A lot of it can build up stress to perform or when finding someone to have sex with.
BDE Style tip: If you get an erection, act on it! Don't try to hide it or make it go away. Exercise it by pushing/letting blood flow in. Remember, it's supposed to be a good thing to have an erection. And if it's during an awkward time (Hopefully not) and someone stares...so what. That's their problem and not yours. Having an erection is not a problem, always remember that!
And let’s not forget about a lack of sex and performance anxiety
Men of all ages may experience erectile dysfunction in some shape or form caused by stress to perform. It’s a type of erectile dysfunction that some guys can’t seem to get over mentally.
A man who is under stress is not going to want to perform because of a fear that he may experience performance anxiety-induced ED. Think of it as “fight or flight”. When a guy gets nervous to perform, his sympathetic nervous system gets activated and all his muscles get tensed up. His heart may be racing and the anxiety he may feel from this “fight or flight” response will cause his little willy not to rise.
Try to relax, breathe and then try again. It really does help to set the expectation with a new partner by letting them know you do get nervous and that you need to RELAX. Ideally, we hope you screen the partner you choose first because some people are just straight-up insensitive and disrespectful when it comes to awkward moments when you can’t stay hard.
The way we think about sex is that if you have sex with anyone, it should be because you both are mature and if a problem like this arises it shouldn’t be an issue. Since we're adults here, you should talk about it and then work on relaxing so that your heart is not racing, your cortisol levels stabilize and blood can enter your dick so that it can rise to the occasion.
And sometimes this takes time and there might be trial and error. But, the important thing is, you have to focus on relaxing. Slower and deeper breathing exercises (into your stomach) may help you calm down if you start fearing that your erection is failing you.
This and talking about it is important too. There's plenty of people/partners that are understanding. This also applies to couples too! If you’ve been with someone and you haven’t found your trigger/switch to rise over this obstacle then you need to continue having this conversation to work through it with your partner.
BDE Style Tip: If your partner is willing, ask them to give you a massage. This will slowly help you to relax while activating your parasympathetic nervous system to "calm" down.
Porn Doesn’t Help Either If You’re Not Having Enough Sex
If a man needs to ejaculate at least 21 times a month to prevent prostate issues, then some guys may interpret that as if they need to have sex at least 21 times a month.
But, that’s the thing. If you’re not having sex or as often as studies suggest, then you need to masturbate to fill up the gaps in between. And porn might not help either, because men who watch excessive porn often become desensitized making their ability to get aroused in the bedroom a lot harder.
Men in their early 20s who watch a lot of porn often suffer from porn induced ED and will have problems getting aroused, achieving an erection, and maintaining it in real-life sexual encounters.
If you think you suffer from Porn Induced ED read our article here on Porn addiction and what you can do about it.
More sex equals more erections and less erectile dysfunction
It’s a simple way of putting it. But, it all comes down to communication and building a solid relationship with your partner(s). Sex also takes two people. You can’t force it, but at the very least, you can choose your partner based on chemistry and sex drive. You can also establish frequency early on in the relationship by showing how much of it is important to you based on your needs(and don’t exaggerate).
And, if you’re stuck in a sexual drought in your current relationship, you need to open up and re-spark the flame. Your sex life should always be improving. Not the other way around. Here are some tips you can do to improve your sex life.
Lastly, if you do have an actual problem with getting or maintaining an erection, we suggest trying The Phoenix acoustic wave device.
The Phoenix Acoustic Wave Device can help men have MORE sex!
The Phoenix device for ED is FDA registered to improve blood flow to the penis. It’s completely safe and a more effective erectile dysfunction treatment option with long term benefits versus pills like tadalafil or sildenafil.
The way acoustic wave therapy works as opposed to the temporary effects of pills is that it uses soundwaves to break down micro-plaque in the arteries of the penis while inducing neovascularization or angiogenesis; a process that promotes the growth of new blood vessels and vein growth. It’s the perfect solution for a guy trying to make it to round 2 or to actually reverse the effects of ED and Peyronie’s disease.
Most guys see positive improvements after 6-12 treatments. And with the ability to re-treat in the future, guys now have the confidence to achieve and maintain erections for the long haul.
You can read more about The Phoenix acoustic wave device here and to hear/read reviews on how it improved the erections of many Phoenix users.
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